How “Reading the Room” Can Backfire Big Time (Facilitation Friday #37)
Be skeptical you always know exactly what is happening in a meeting or a workshop.
You’re facilitating a meeting and notice several people sitting with their arms crossed. What might it mean?
When I ask this during one of my facilitation skills trainings, the most common responses are: closed, defensive, disinterested, angry.
When I ask what else closed arms might indicate, people generally say chilly or cold.
If you see people sitting with crossed arms and assume they are cold, you might turn up temperature to warm up the room. But what if they are actually closed, defensive, or angry?
Now you have created a room that may contain some hot, uncomfortable, defensive or angry participants. Not a good call on your part.
People chuckle when I introduce this little twist that illustrates how thinking you always read a room correctly can backfire.
Only One Correct Read Rarely Exists
Just as friends might differ on how to interpret a key plot development in a book, movie, or television program, so might facilitators (and participants!) have different interpretations of what unfolds during a meeting or workshop. To assume any of us can always accurately assess the meaning of individuals’ behaviors is a bit foolhardy. So what’s a facilitator to do?
A good place to begin is by remembering two of the effective facilitation core principles I’ve explored previously:
Help surface unacknowledged or unexpressed beliefs, biases, perspectives, issues, and patterns.
Provide group process leadership while generally operating with restraint.
In tandem these principles advise us to restrain ourselves from always taking immediate action based on what we alone think is occurring. Instead we can help participants surface possible perspectives on—and reasons for—whatever we are witnessing. Remember, anyone can— and everyone should—make facilitative contributions.
With this additional information, we can then determine (or work with the group to decide) what to do next. If you do feel compelled to take action, remember the wise counsel from Roger Schwarz that I previously highlighted in a post entitled “Should I Do Something?”
Here are two more tips to further help inform this process.
#1: Share (and/or Surface) Observations. Check Inferences.
Noticing people with crossed arms is an observation. Thinking they are bored or defensive is an inference. Observations are objective; Inferences are subjective. Multiple inferences can exist for the same observation as the Ladder of Inference model illustrates.
When facilitating we should not assume everyone notices the same things or that our inferences about what we notice are correct. Instead, we should make it easier for group members to offer their interpretation of what is happening.
How? By simply sharing our observations: “I’m noticing a lot of crossed arms right now.”
If you said nothing else, someone in the group will likely share what your observation means to them: “Yeah it is freezing in here and I’m trying to stay warm.”
So do we have our answer? Nope. Acting on one participant’s interpretation of what we notice is not much better than acting on our own alone. The more facilitative response is to check out the inference with the group: “Jaden is quite cold right now. What’s the temperature like for the rest of you?”
Based on the responses received, we can then take an appropriate action. Remember, effective facilitation provides leadership with restraint. A range of restraint always exists for any situation we are managing. In general, initially opt for a more restrained or less directive choice.
When the Observation or Inferences Comes from Participants
What should a facilitator do when someone shares a recommendation or inference, but doesn’t link it to a specific observation? Example: a group member says, “Our #1 goal as a chapter should be increasing the number of people coming to monthly meetings.”
Someone else might respond that they don’t agree at all and suggest an alternative action. A third person might offer another idea. And so on. This can quickly become unproductive as people advocate for different actions to take.
To avoid this, we should help surface the observation that led to the stated inference about the goal to pursue: “Carlos, can you tell us about what you’re noticing (observation) that leads you to conclude increasing chapter meeting attendance (inference or action) should be the #1 priority?”
Doing this generally leads to more productive discussion. Absent the observation, people might argue against the stated inference or action. When the observation is specified, people might still disagree, but they can better understand what led to the recommended action. This is similar to algebra. You can get the wrong answer but still get partial credit for showing your work.
Once the observation is disclosed, others may comment that they see the same thing Carlos noticed, but think a different action should be taken. Some might share that what Carlos sees happening has not been the experience in their chapters. Now our facilitation can help the group manage these different reads on what is happening and what should be done.
#2 Culture(s) and Context(s) Matter
Imagine walking into the room for an association board meeting you’re facilitating to find the overhead lighting off. Numerous floor and table lamps especially brought in are illuminated around the room. Floor cushions and yoga mats are strewn about and aromatherapy candles burn on the table. What would you think is going on?
While not what you usually encounter, this was common practice for one of my former association clients whose members were salon and spa owners. It is a vivid reminder that what is considered “normal” is not universal.
Cultures and contexts matter and can lead to very different interpretations of what occurs in a meeting or workshop, as well as different thinking about what, if any actions, a facilitator should take. Facilitation can help participants make connections and meaning about what is happening, as well as embrace the different perceptions and interpretations among them.
Each of us brings our own “lenses” and mental models into any facilitation effort, filtering what we see through all of our life experiences and cultural layers of identity and shaping our “read of the room.” Participant diversity (in all manners) often correlates with an increase in different perspectives on issues or potential actions. Effective facilitation helps ensure that discussions thoughtfully entertain these cultural and contextual differences in an equitable and inclusive manner.
Bottom Line
Be careful thinking you (or any lone participant) can always successfully "read the room." Any reads reflect the lenses, filters, and potential biases of the readers. Rather than acting on what we alone think is happening (our read in isolation), it often is better to share what we are noticing and then check out our inferences with group members. They may have different interpretations, ones that might call for a different action than we had contemplated.
Getting in Action
Think of meetings or workshops you’ve facilitated or in which you’ve participated. What participant behaviors (i.e. crossed arms) might more frequently cause your brain to quickly climb the ladder of inference to a possible action or choice? Why might these behaviors do so? How might you slow down your reactions so you don’t jump to conclusions?
What are a few participant behaviors or group dynamics that people tend to perceive as negative (i.e. one person speaking more than most)? What are other more neutral or positive inferences about these observations/behaviors?
You’re facilitating a meeting or workshop. When might you be most likely to share your inferences about something you’ve noticed before (or in lieu of) asking what participants make of your observation? Why might that be and what consequences (positive or negative) might results?
© Facilitate Better and Jeffrey Cufaude. All rights reserved.
To affordably license this content for reprint on your site or in electronic or print communications or to contact me regarding customized facilitation skills workshops or consultations, complete this form.