Bridging Beliefs for Better Discussions in a Divided World (Facilitation Friday #74)
Better discussions or decisions often occur when participants' beliefs are made transparent.
Choices about organizational strategy, culture, policy, and products or services are born out of beliefs and assumptions about what is the right thing to do. The life experiences of meeting participants inform and coalesce into the belief systems that shape their thinking and assumptions.
This is one reason that teams with diverse perspectives often make better decisions: they have a greater range of belief systems influencing their deliberations and decisions about what is possible, doable, or desirable. Without that diversity people can fall prey to limiting thinking or stereotypes, a topic eloquently explored in author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TEDGlobal Talk.
When people join with others—at home, in neighborhoods, in volunteer groups, or at work—their respective belief systems come into contact with those that others' hold. Individual stories meet in conversation with each other.
The potential differences among these belief systems and stories can provoke misunderstanding or stall conversations if not thoughtfully explored. As diversity and inclusion speaker and advisor Joe Gerstandt notes, "Our individual and collective stances toward difference are incredibly important because they inform how we interact with difference when it actually shows up."
In my facilitation skills workshops, participants increasingly ask for tips on handling discussions where multiple belief systems are present, particularly if they seem incompatible. I often use these bridge-building questions to help individuals dig deeper into their belief systems and to make them more transparent to others.
Bridge-Building Questions
What are a few core beliefs you have about _______? Fill in the blank with the reason people have come together, either the issue of interest (i.e., strategic planning, innovation, neighborhood development, budgeting, teamwork, etc.) or the role they share (i.e., being a good board member, leader, community advocate, leadership educator, parent, et al).
How have you come to these beliefs? What experiences and/or individuals have most influenced them? How and why? Note: this question often proves quite powerful, as many individuals have not explicitly sourced some of their core beliefs.
Describe an experience that illustrates any of these beliefs in action and how the belief(s) influenced your actions and reactions.
When/how have these beliefs most served you well?
When/how have these beliefs caused you difficulty?
How are your beliefs likely to show up in the interactions we will have together?
How do you tend to react when others hold beliefs very different from yours or raise questions about the validity or relevance of yours?
Ways to use these questions include having individuals:
pair off, interview each other, and then introduce each other to the group.
note their responses in writing and then share highlights with the group verbally or do a silent “read and pass” of others’ responses.
respond in advance to an online survey with all responses aggregated and shared for review prior to an open discussion at the start of the meeting.
You may not always have the opportunity or time for this type of more involved discussion activity. When this is the case, my primary goal is to efficiently surface the information about individual beliefs most critical to refreshing the conversation. I allot each person a couple of minutes to speak without any interruption or reactions from others, responding to the following prompt:
In regards to our discussion, I most believe _____________. As a result of this belief, I think the best course of action is ____________________.
This again could be done in written form as a read and pass exercise or you could have participants flipchart and post their responses for a “Gallery Walk” silent review.
Once this information is aired, I often find the mood, energy, and/or tone of the conversation shifts into something more productive. We now have helpful context for the comments and contributions others will make. This also helps dispel concerns about potential hidden agendas.
Regardless of how individual information is surfaced and shared, you only need one simple prompt to launch a useful conversation distilling and applying what people have learned about each other: What most stands out for you and what implications might it have for our work together today?
Valuing Others and Leveraging Differences
Anyone, regardless of role, can benefit from valuing and learning from belief systems that differ from their own. Discussions about them don’t always involve divisiveness or deep disagreement, so don’t frame them as if they do. When facilitating conversations about beliefs, avoid unnecessary use of the word conflict. People holding different beliefs is normal and routine.
However, if during discussions individuals “dig in” to their pre-existing belief systems or engage in other behaviors that negatively impact the conversations, do respond accordingly. Our facilitation can invite participants to temporarily set their beliefs aside and to “try on” any of the perspectives they currently are resisting or struggling to understand or appreciate.
When doing so, I often preface my invitation with this quote from one of my favorite authors, Margaret Wheatley, in her wonderful book, Turning to One Another: “We don’t have to let go of what we believe, but we do need to be curious about what someone else believes.”
If participants lack this curiosity and willingness to temporarily pause defending their beliefs, genuine dialogue may be difficult to achieve. Instead we find ourselves facilitating a series of disconnected monologues that often do little to advance the best decision-making.
In Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together, William Isaacs similarly notes that “You have a dialogue when you explore the uncertainties and questions that no one has answers to. In this way you begin to think together—not simply report out old thoughts (emphasis added). In dialogue people learn to use the energy of their differences to enhance their collective wisdom.”
Bottom Line
The beliefs participants hold often are not made explicit during discussions or decision-making. Effective facilitation helps surface these beliefs and make them transparent. As a result, participants might better understand the context of others’ contributions, and in turn, where and how group members might go forward together.
Getting in Action
Think of the meetings or workshops you often participate in or facilitate. What are some of the most significant belief systems present among participants? How do they (or might they) enhance or impede discussions and decisions?
Identify a few core beliefs you have about effective facilitation. Explore one or more of them using the questions suggested earlier in this post.
What other questions might you use to help people get more clarity about their own beliefs and/or be more open-minded and curious about those holding different ones?
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