Ask This Critical Question Now to Avoid Heartburn Later (Facilitation Friday #54)
Facilitate more productive conversations by getting upfront agreement on this important question.
Spoiler alert. This is the critical question:
Which/whose interests should our discussions and decisions on this question or topic most privilege? Why?
Helping surface individual perspectives on this critical question at the start of a meeting or conversation often prevents or minimizes confusion, misunderstandings, or conflicts that might otherwise occur.
I find it particularly useful to do so in gatherings that involve participants with widely varying individual lenses through which they filter the conversations, including:
roles and responsibilities
personal demographics
career or life stages
knowledge and experience levels
Answering this question helps leverage these diverse perspectives in what Edward de Bono aptly called Parallel Thinking®. When this occurs, “each thinker puts forward his or her thoughts in parallel with the thoughts of others-not attacking the thoughts of others.” While this approach is perhaps most associated with de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats® method, the general concept is useful for all discussions: align individuals’ thinking in a common or parallel direction.
Doing this matters because whether the conversations are strategic or tactical, participants often have select stakeholders in mind for the positions or choices they advocate. Without consensus on which stakeholders matter most to the question under consideration, discussions can feel like hitting a tennis ball against a wall … lots of back and forth without a satisfying conclusion.
By clarifying whose or which interests matter most at the onset of any discussion, we increase the likelihood that subsequent conversation and decisions are both efficient and effective. When multiple interests are in play (as they often are), using tools like a value matrix or decision-making rules can make it easier for participants to do their best thinking together.
Bottom Line
Facilitating better discussions, decisions, and results generally requires that we help participants reach agreement on whose/which interests matter most for the topic or question at hand. Doing this upfront is a more efficient use of everyone’s time, one that helps prevent unproductive disarray and disagreement.
You also can use this question about interests during a discussion (whose or which interests are you privileging right now?) or as part of a post-meeting evaluation and assessment (whose or which interests were most privileged during the meeting?).
Getting in Action
Think of a conversation you’ve facilitated or participated in that was less than productive. How might an upfront consensus on whose/which interests should most inform the discussions and decisions have changed the deliberations.
What objections might meeting participants have to answering this vital question? How might you facilitate their exploration of these concerns and help them reach a useful resolution?
Identify an upcoming gathering you’re facilitating. Imagine the different interests participants might agree upfront should be privileged, how the subsequent discussions might flow, and what this could mean for your facilitation.
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