Discover more from Facilitate Better with Jeffrey Cufaude

Helping you Facilitate Better discussions, decisions, and results in meetings and workshops.

How do I help participants have more empathy for others' perspectives?

Remaining curious and open to perspectives other than our own is critical for empathy, learning, and personal growth. Effective facilitation helps make that possible.

Jeffrey Cufaude

Jun 27, 2023

On a caramel-colored background, a hand with a piece of white chalk drew a question mark. Lines added in three subsequent drawings evolve the question mark into a light bulb. Headline: How do I help participants have more empathy for others’ perspectives? Text: Apply the Mike Nichols approach: “I am like that when …” Try role rehearsals in which participants must represent or advocate a perspective other than their own.

Approximate reading time: four minutes.

“I don’t know anyone who feels that way.”
“If you weren’t so emotional, none of this would be happening to you.”
“I can’t imagine that being anyone’s perspective.”
“That doesn’t at all reflect what my experience has been.”

Do any of these sound familiar? These are all statements from actual meeting participants, statements that indicate a lack of empathy toward others’ perspectives and experiences.

While some people simply accept others’ perspectives or experiences as true for them, others respond with dismissal or a questioning manner. The latter can be an obstacle to groups reaching a decision or working together effectively.

Interestingly, a recent New York Times article explored how some doctors are using chatbots to identify more empathetic responses to patients’ concerns and questions.

How can facilitators encourage greater empathy among meeting or workshop participants to perspectives or lived experiences that may be very different than their own?

Here are two approaches to consider.

#1: Apply the Mike Nichols approach.

When actors expressed difficulty understanding the mindset of their characters, the famed director Mike Nichols is said to have offered this simple advice. “Think about this. I am like that when …”

“I am like that when …” When facilitating we can invite participants to consider the same if they have difficulty connecting to others. I find it most helpful to introduce this approach at the onset of a conversation or meeting where I think it may be useful, often at the same time as discussing shared agreements or group norms. I suggest people use it on their own when they find themselves resisting others’ perspectives.

Once individuals identify a comparable personal experience, they often discover that—while they may not relate completely to the specifics of another person’s experience or perspective—they can identify with the general sentiment behind it. This newfound common ground changes the tenor of the conversation from the negative tone that dismissing someone else’s opinion can engender.

On the left is a picture of Sherry Turkle with images of two book dust jackets below her: (1) Alone Together and (2) Reclaiming Conversation. To the right of these images is this text: Four Empathy Rules/Practices Sherry Turkle “If you open yourself to empathy, you’re allowing yourself to listen across difference. Empathy keeps us from discounting, dismissing, or even canceling others.” Embrace not knowing. “You can’t put yourself into someone else’s situation if you have preconceptions about its contours.” Embrace radical difference. “Empathy doesn’t start with a reassuring “I’m like you.” On the contrary, empathy accepts friction.” Embrace commitment. “Empathy implies that you will do the work necessary to comprehend not just the place the person is coming from but their problem. Embrace community. “Empathy isn’t altruistic. It enlarges those who offer it and binds them to others.” Sherry Turkle is an MIT professor and author of several books. Quotes are from “Empathy Rules,” Harvard Business Review, February 17, 2022.

#2: Use role rehearsals.

Role rehearsals or role plays are a common learning and conversation format in workshops or meetings. When people play a part, they literally step into the shoes of someone else’s lived experience.

Individuals may be challenged though to portray a role, perspective, or opinion that they have difficulty relating to or do not understand. Effective facilitation will provide support—make it easier—for them to perform this role in a meaningful way, particularly if engendering empathy is a goal for the exercise.

Below are tips I’ve previously shared in order to make role rehearsals feel more authentic and to produce a more meaningful learning experience.

Challenging format example: Role plays or role rehearsals What might people find challenging about the format? The pressure of having to “perform” extemporaneously in a meaningful way, as well as uncertainty about whether or not they are “doing it right” during the role play itself. What support might make it easier for learners to fully participate in and contribute to a role play? •Do a sample role play in front of everyone using pre-selected participants to model the way. •Reduce the amount of improvisation. Provide brief descriptions of each role play character, as well as a few snippets of dialogue they could include when speaking during the role play. •Let participants prepare. In lieu of sample dialogue, offer a few questions or prompts related to potential role play conversation. Provide a few minutes for individuals to note responses and dialogue they might use. Individuals could collaborate on this with those in other groups playing the same role. •Create a feedback loop. Stop the role play after a few minutes. Let participants briefly discuss what is working well and what to improve. Then invite them to resume. •Allow “extras” to tag out participants and take over their role/place in the conversation. •Involve one or two people in each group as observers. Observers watch the role play unfold and then share what they noticed about the conversation, individual contributions, et al.

If people struggle with thinking their way into a new manner of being or acting, role rehearsals may help them act their way into a new manner of thinking, one that is more empathetic. Be sure to adequately debrief any role rehearsals. First, invite individuals to silently reflect on their experience and identify what they thought or felt during it. Then facilitate open discussion of those reflections.

Bottom Line

Every group is comprised of individuals with different lived experiences, perspectives, beliefs, mental models, and opinions. Remaining curious and open to perspectives other than our own is critical for empathy, learning, and personal growth. Effective facilitation helps make that possible.

Effective Facilitation Helps Surface the Unacknowledged or Unexpressed

How do I handle different belief systems present among participants?

To affordably license this content for reprint on your site or in electronic or print communications or to contact me regarding customized facilitation skills workshops or consultations, email me or complete this form.

Facilitate Better with Jeffrey Cufaude